Here is another song rooted in a Hauerwasian vision of marriage.
In our modern social construction of dating, each individual holds the autonomy to escape a relationship should it no longer suit him or herself. If he is not what you’re looking for in a guy, if she is not as compatible as you once imagined, that is as sufficient a reason as you’ll ever need to end a relationship, dating or married. Stanley Hauerwas offers an alternative vision:
"Destructive to marriage is the self-fulfillment ethic that assumes marriage and the family are primarily institutions of personal fulfillment, necessary for us to become "whole" and happy. The assumption is that there is someone just right for us to marry and that if we look closely enough we will find the right person. This moral assumption overlooks a crucial aspect to marriage. It fails to appreciate the fact that we always marry the wrong person.
We never know whom we marry; we just think we do. Or even if we first marry the right person, just give it a while and he or she will change... The primary challenge of marriage is learning how to love and care for the stranger to whom you find yourself married."
Lisa and I have fought so many times during our 7 years together. We have had to forgive each other thousands of times for things big and small. I wanted to write a song that wasn’t bashful in naming how difficult our relationship has been at times, but also, a song that celebrates how journeying through those difficult seasons together created for us a sacred space and witness to a love that is patient, kind, and not easily angered. A love that is neither self seeking, nor boastful. A love that keeps no record of wrongs. A love that protects, trusts, hopes, and perseveres.
lyrics
the silhouette of mountains on the foothills paint a portrait of
this love that we enjoyed and threw away
only to crawl back, digging through the garbage, picking up
pieces of glass and she says
i’ll take back every word that i used to curse your name
i’ll take back every word that i used to curse your name
last night
the silhouette of mountains on the foothills they call my name
though i’ve never heard their voices before
still in the twilight, reflections of a hallowed glowing sun
illuminate a love that endures
there is something more than i can touch or say
there is something more than i can touch or say
tonight
Now I’m falling in
Now I'm falling in
A place we call our own
Where no one else can find or know
No one else can find or know
No one else can find
i see it in her eyes, welling up, our lives have intertwined
falling off her lips, as she whispers out a prayer
oh god could i be a feeble jar of clay tonight
here i've stumbled on a treasure unadorned
though my vision's blind to what has not been revealed
i will give my life like the merchant for the field
each night
Now I’m falling in
Now I'm falling in
A place we call our own
Where no one else can find or know
No one else can find or know
No one else can find
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